You are a work of art.

"Girl with a Pearl Earring" Jan Vermeer 1665

"What is your best dating advice?" A friend asked this of me the other day. Had my wife been present she'd have snorted coffee out her nose. My wife knows better than anyone how singularly unqualified I am to answer that question. The fact I'm married makes me living proof of miracles.

I gave my friend a lame answer I don't remember. Still, the question stuck with me. What is my best dating advice, apart from cherub platitudes. Thoughts clunked around for some time and eventually the only way to expunge their noise was to write them down. What follows is the result of that expunging.

FRUSTRATINGLY NON-PROGRAMMATIC DATING ADVICE FOR THE GENERAL POPULACE

You are not a pop song, you are a work of art.

A POP SONG
A pop song needs to do the things it needs to do to "get noticed."
A pop song is understood after one listen.

The North American dating scene seems to prefer people who are pop songs.
In the North American dating scene, dating is a branding strategy.
The point of dating [i.e. the branding strategy] is to gather a following of fans from which the president of the fan club might be chosen.
This seems like a broken way to view relationship.

The exchange between the person who is a pop song and the person who is the number one fan seems to be mutual taking.
The person who is a pop song isn't complete and needs to take from the person who is the number one fan in order to be complete.
The person who is the number one fan isn't complete and needs to take from the person who is a pop song in order to be complete.

A WORK OF ART
A work of art doesn't need to do things to be noticed.
A work of art just needs to be the work of art it was intended to be.

A work of art can't be understood in one look, it retains its mystery and power after many encounters.
A work of art often requires several prolonged encounters before it is appreciated in any meaningful way.

People who are works of art don't need a branding strategy, they just need to be the work of art they were intended to be.

People who are works of art aren't complete in that they are imperfect and broken.
People who are works of art are complete in that they are God's children and therefore recipients of His grace in the person of Jesus Christ and his already-promise of not-yet-completeness.

Works of art sit well together.
Pop songs and art don't necessarily sit well together.

Two works of art that sit well together mutually give from their completeness.
Two works of art that sit well together don't take from each other's completeness.

Two people who are works of art and who sit well together mutually give from their already-promise of not-yet-completeness.
[That does make sense, it's worth reading again]

HABITAT
Works of art are placed so as to be appreciated by those who might appreciate them.

A work of art left haphazardly in busy subway station eliminates the possibility of it being encountered in a prolonged way, if it manages to be encountered at all.

People who are pop songs are well suited to busy subway station like habitats.
Busy habitats equate to more potential brief attention.
Pop songs only need attention.

People who are works of art are not well suited to busy subway station like habitats.
Busy habitats do not equate to a prolonged encounter.
Works of art need to be encountered.

A work of art person who is only in places driven by fleeting or non-committed interaction will eliminate the possibility of being encountered in a prolonged way, if they manage to be encountered at all.

The point of placing a work of art, caring for its habitat, isn't for it to get noticed, or marketed, or branded, or sold.
The point of caring for a work of art's habitat is for the art to be the work of art it was intended to be.

A work of art in its proper habitat being most like the work of art it was intended to be has the greatest possibility of mutually giving from its completeness.

CHOICE
Everyone is a work of art made by The Creator.
We are pop songs only because we chose to be

Posted via email from The Broken Wing