Mutts and Manx Gaelic

I have this ongoing delusional fantasy. It might be cute for a 13 year old, but it's kind of pathetic if one is supposedly well past delusions. The delusion is this, if I was born in another time I would be a warrior. It's really funny because I've never been in a physical fight in my life. Yet, I have this misty eyed vision: In another place. In another time, the warrior doth rise... [enter lute music] Maybe it's the kind of thing all boys think, some chromosomal malfunction, or maybe it's just me. Either way, here I sit, sedentary as a lamp, 41 years old, 40 pounds over weight, sloshing back my fifth coffee today. Still, that stupid warrior thing won't die.

Like a lot of Canadians I am a mutt. My family heritage is Austrian, Polish, English and Manx (The Isle of Man). I've always identified most strongly with my Manx heritage. I used to feel bad about it, like it was favoritism or something, but recently I've just come to accept it as it is, I feel more Manx than anything. (My siblings may well feel a different component of our heritage helps define who they are; as mutts we can pick and choose what part of us helps define us. It's kind of a cool Canadian thing.)

The Isle of Man is a weird place. It is an internally self-governing dependent territory of the British Crown. It isn't part of the UK or the EU. Tynwald, the Island's 1000 year old parliament, is the oldest continuous running parliament in the world. The Isle of Man has it's own currency and it's own language, Manx Gaelic. The film "Waking Ned Divine" was shot there [mild ripple of recognition rolls through the audience, replacing, heretofore, blank stares]. The Isle of Man is a cold inhospitible rock in the middle of one of the coldest most inhospitible seas in the world, and yet the Manx people continue to thrive there. Not only do they thrive, they remain hospitable within this sea of inhospitality. The Manx people are hearty people. The Manx people decended from Vikings. I descended from Vikings. Vikings are warriors. Hmmm... something to give one pause.

I've come to realize something I've always known, but nobody in the churches I went to really acknowledged it, so I didn't really acknowledge it either. It made me uncomfortable because I was suppose to be nice, but it's sitting right there plain as day; if God is who he say's he is, we wake up to a world at war. Paul makes it pretty plain:

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

Jeremiah was at war all his life. Who was he at war with? Not Jerusalem, the people. He loved the people, they were his people. That's why he dedicated his entire life toward trying to get them to change their ways. The battle isn't against sinners, God died for sinners. The battle is against powers that would keep God's creation in sin. It is a battle against powers who wish to see the people God loves not receive their inheritance as children of God. Jeremiah fought along side God, relentlessly breaking away things that would leave God's people in delusion, that wold leave them blinded to Him. Jeremiah didn't fight Jerusalem. Jeremiah fought "Jerusalem." "Jerusalem" was Israel's security, it's power, it's wealth, it's religious order, it's entitlement, it's ways-of-doing-things, it's systems, it's techniques, it's structures. All good stuff, but "Jerusalem" had become Israel's inamorata. "Jerusalem" was something other than God. The spiritual forces of evil loved "Jerusalem," it did all their work for them.

Jeremiah saw the way things were. He saw the anguish and the pain headed toward the people he loved and lived among. If they didn't turn from their God-ignoring ways, "Jerusalem" would be ripped away. It would be torn away for their own sake, to break them free of their God-ignoring structures. This ripping away was their only chance. God wouldn't leave them lost in their own structures. He was relentless about saving them from themselves. For those who refused to let go of the structures, they would fall to destruction clinging to the wrong thing.

We don't fight against sinners. Jeremiah didn't fight Israel, he loved Israel. He fought their self-delusion. He fought their self-delusion as already-children-of-God. He fought the ways of seeing the world that upheld the delusion. He fought the spiritual powers who upheld the delusion. He fought Israel's blindness. He fought the powers that would keep them blind. Jeremiah fought for new eyes. Eyes to see. Eyes to see things as they really were.

When I was studying for my fine arts degree I had a professor who gave young painters a very good piece of advice. He said if you're having trouble with a painting, if you're stuck and you're not sure where to go next, turn the painting upside down. When you turn it upside down, you see it with new eyes. You see it for the first time again, you see it as it really is.

This is what Jeremiah did. He spoke Jerusalem's world upside down, so they could see it fresh, so they could see things as they really were. Jeremiah fought for new eyes. Some time after Jeremiah, in a much different world, someone else spoke an upside down world. But He didn't stop at just speaking an upside down world, he really turned the world upside down. The first are last and the last are first. The rich are poor and the poor are rich. You have to die to live, you gain what you let go of. Jesus created one freaky weird upside down world.

And here's the exciting thing, Jesus turned the painting upside down, and then told us to do more painting. He said fight blindness by helping me paint this upside down world. He didn't turn it upside down and then put it in a frame and stick it on the wall. He also didn't suddenly make it a paint by number world. You get to create. You get to use your image-after-God as it was meant to be used. You are co-creators with Christ, bringing shape to his now upside down world. You get to paint like a warrior in this marvelous upside down world that you now see with fresh eyes, as it really is. Like Jeremiah, you get to join God in an epic struggle against right-side-up thinking. More specifically, against the powers of this world that promote, propogate, create, uphold right-side-up thinking. You fight against the powers that keep sinners sinners, instead of the already-children-of-God they have a right to be. If God is who he says he is, and Jesus made the world as upside down as He said He did, we are in a world at war. We are fighting self-delusion on an epic scale. We are fighting for new eyes. We are fighting blindness and we are fighting the spiritual powers of evil that love blindness. We co-create this upside down world with Christ and declare it true. Warrior-Kings, warrior-poets, warrior-sons and warrior-daughters fight along side Christ, co-creating His upside down world, declaring it true.

Fight the spiritual powers of evil who say, "The first are first, the poor are poor, you get to keep what you grab, and everything is still right side up." Go into all the world and tell them I turned the world upside down, and then help them to live as though it were true.

That seems like a task worthy of warriors, maybe even Vikings. Hmmm... something to give one pause.

I'm leaving on a jet plane

I've been busy preparing for a trip to Africa, consequently I haven't posted in a few days. By way of information, I'm posting the pre-written, thus time saving, letter I e-mailed around a few weeks ago:

Dear Friends

It's back to Bole! On March 31, 2005 Andy Harrington, Cecil Rast and I are returning to Bole, Ethiopia, a village Andy and I visited 2 years ago.

You are receiving this update because you supported, in some way, my trip to Ethiopia two years ago; or you have expressed interest in my travels. Hopefully you have received word that water is now flowing in Bole. Again, thank you for your part in saving lives. Andy and I are returning to Ethiopia to film a short video about the successful work in Bole.

Two years ago kids at Historymaker responded to the need in Bole and gave generously, making the work there possible. We'll be showing the Bole success video at Historymaker as an encouragement, proof that a difference can be made.

There is a second component to our trip, taking on new work, a new need. We will be returning to Addis Abiba to film a longer piece about AIDS orphans there, this is the work we'll be asking Historymaker kids to support this year.

As before, your role is foundational. That first video wouldn't have been made, and kids wouldn't have had the opportunity to respond if you didn't first respond. Your generosity carried me over the ocean, made the whole thing possible.

It is going to be a challenging trip this year. The situation in Addis has brought seasoned aid workers to tears, I have no illusions as to how difficult it will be to tell the story of these precious children. More than ever, I feel I can't go alone. I need to be sent. As always, your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

Also, if you would like to participate financially in, literally, sending me to Bole and Addis, that too would be greatly appreciated. We feeble humans need tangible evidence of inner realities. In my case, financial support is that tangible thing that tells me I'm sent, it tells me this is bigger than me. It seems kind of weird, and maybe lame, but rubber meets the road financial support gives me something spiritual to lean on when things get tough. I have a sense I'll need something spiritual to lean on this trip, it's going to be tough.

We will again be traveling under the auspice of Hope International Development Agency. It will cost approximately $2500 CAN to make the trip. Donations will be graciously accepted up to and after my departure date. Once my trip is covered, any additional money will go the AIDS work in Addis.

If you would like to be part of sending me to Ethiopia donations can be made to:

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Hope International Development Agency
214 - 6th St. New Westminister, BC
V3L 3A2
cheque payable to: "HOPE INTERNATIONAL." You'll need to make note on your cheque that the donation is for: "STEVE FROST - ETHIOPIA TRIP 2005."
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Alternately you can make a donation on the Hope web site. In the comments section you'll need to make note that the donation is for "STEVE FROST - ETHIOPIA TRIP 2005." Hope's web address is:

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http://www.hope-international.com
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Thank you for your continued support. Thank you for your interest in, and concern for the most vulnerable among us.




Yours in grace and compassion
Steve Frost

Prayer of the Benighted Somnambulist

Lord, give me flat eyes. Give me thin ears. Help me take things into my own hands. Give me strength to remain busy.

Amen

The Discipline of Celebration

My wife had a girls night out a Bimini's last night. Dancing, laughing, and drinks with umbrellas. My wife and I have never frequented clubs much, an oversight on our part, so she was seeing things with fresh eyes.

She noticed how people interact. It was obvious to her that people want to belong, to a group or to someone. They want to touch, to feel physical contact with another human being. They're all there looking for something, but they don't know what, or even that they're looking, but it's so evident they are.

She said it was good to be with her friends. There is some kind of intangible connection there when there is a connection of faith. It was good to laugh and dance and celebrate, but it was especially good with those friends. There is something different when people of faith celebrate. There is a freedom and deep joy that is compelling.

My wife almost didn't go. It was because of me that she almost didn't go. She had been looking forward to going all day, and then conflagration, and then she didn't want to have to push past a sudden foul mood to then be able to enjoy herself. But, she did. She's a strong woman. And she was glad she went. It was needed celebration, for the moment and in general.

That made me think, celebration is a much overlooked ecclesiastical discipline. It isn't a frivolous option, but a discipline. Other ancient cultures are built around celebration and festivity, you couldn't get away from it. "Aw, mom...suckling pig again." We've replaced celebration with "fun." A poor substitution, I dare say. Consequently, people of faith, in our culture, must work at making sure they celebrate.

I think songs, no matter how "contemporary," sung from pews, with hands up or down is a thin understanding of celebration. When I put celebration along side words like meditation, fasting and prayer I see a rich tapestry of tradition stretching back to Israel. Then I look at the little North American thread I'm holding and I think how did we get this from that?

Two stories:

1. I was in a mosh pit at an Andy Hunter concert dancing like an idiot. Kids who had never been through the doors of a church, also dancing like idiots, were saying how different this was from any concert they had been to, how they felt a freedom they had never felt at any club. I long for that kind of freedom among God's people like I long for spring after winter.

2. A man paid for a well in a village in Africa. He flew to Africa for the celebration in which the new well was opened. The villagers gathered around the well and moved in a tight circle. They danced and danced and danced. Singing and playing drums and dancing. This was their well. This was life! The painfully white, elderly man who had paid for the well, danced with them the whole time. He danced and danced and danced. I long for that kind of deep celebration like I long for a cold drink of water on a blistering summer afternoon.

A Short Comment

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More DNA II

It's kind of frustrating that Jesus said love will let people know you have Jesus-DNA, it would be simpler if it was a hat, or a spiffy salute or something. I could do those on my own, and I'd know exactly what to do. Honestly, I'd rather do this on my own. But, if it's love, that means there has to be other people that you love. The thing is, if you have Jesus-DNA you can’t be by yourself, you have to have other people around to love, and that makes things complicated. Plus, figuring out what love looks like is sort of like herding cats, or pinning jello to a wall. What love looks like depends on where you are, and who you're talking to, and what year it is. Most of all, what love looks like depends on who you’re with, because love connects you to other people. And when there’s more than one person, everything is more complicated, including love. But there has to be more than one person for there to be love, so, I guess love is pretty complicated. Jesus seemed to think so anyway. But then sometimes he thought it was pretty simple.

Knowing love is the thing that lets people know you have Jesus-DNA isn't very specific direction. In fact it leaves a whole lot of un-specifics. As much as we wish he had, Jesus just didn't give us the specifics of what his love inside of us would look like as we lived out our day to day lives. He didn't say anything about Bluetooth, or clocks, or what kind of car to drive, he didn't mention McDonalds, or P2P networks, or if Kraft Cheese is okay. In fact he said dangerously unspecific things like, "love each other," and "love your neighbor as yourself," and "love others more than yourself." Maybe that's why Paul, who had Jesus-DNA, said, following Jesus meant "working out" your faith, every day. We have to figure out, every single day, what it means to have Jesus-DNA inside of us. It sounds like a lot of work. I would just as soon not do it, but Jesus said we have to.The good news is that even though people have a hard time saying specifically what love looks like, everyone knows love when they see it. They don't even need a lesson in greek about eros or philia or storgé or agápe. They know real love when they see it because God made love the air that our souls breathe.

If you are someone who’s never seen real love before, it’s like you’re underwater for a long time without breathing, knowing you need something, but you can't find it. Then someone pushes you to the surface, and your soul just knows it's found what it needs. Your first breath of real love, Divine love is like that first gasp on the surface, no one has to tell you what to do, no one has to tell you this is what you need. I think that's the kind of love Jesus is talking about. I think that’s the kind of love he wants us to give to others, the kind that lets their soul breathe, that leaves them gasping for more.

It’s odd, but God made us—the ones with Jesus-DNA inside—so we provide the air of Divine love to each other. We all need each other for our souls to have divine love to breathe. It’s kind of weird, I know, but that’s how God set it up. So we have to figure out ways, every day, to push each other to the surface, so our souls can breathe.

We also provide the air of Divine love to people who’ve never breathed it. We have to figure out ways, every day, to draw them to the surface, to help them find the thing they know they need, but haven’t found. It seems like a lot to do everyday. But like I said before, Jesus says we have to.

More DNA

Jesus said that following him didn't involve putting on an outside symbol that meant there is goodness inside. He said that following him did involve an inside change that also changed things on the outside. This kind of talk upset the religious leaders of the time because they liked outside symbols of inside goodness. They knew all the symbols you were suppose to have, and they knew who had the symbols and who didn’t. It was a pretty big job keeping track of all the outside symbols people were suppose to have, but they were pretty smart guys. Plus, having clear cut symbols made some things a lot easier. For example, the religious leaders could say who was right and who was wrong. If you had more outside symbols than the person you disagreed with, you were more good than they were, and you were the one who was right. You were especially right if you were one of the religious leaders.

Today, some religious leaders think following God is like putting on a team jersey. You make a decision to do it, and then you do it once. They think everyone on the team should look like everyone else on the team, act like everyone else on the team and talk like everyone else on the team. To be on the team you just have to decide to wear the jersey. Once you are on the team you need to look and act and talk like the team captains because they know how the team is suppose to look and act and talk.

Once you are on the team you also have to try and get as many people as you can to be on your team. To do that you need to convince them to decide to wear the team jersey.

Some religious leaders also think the team has to make adjustments to the team jersey over time. Every decade or so the team jersey might have to be updated to make the team relevant and appealing, so people will agree to wear the jersey and then be on the team. It is very important to make sure people are on the team. Jesus said the religious leaders have it all wrong. Following God isn’t from the outside in, like putting on a jersey. Jesus said following Him is like DNA. It works from the inside out. Jesus himself, as revealed in scripture, is the spiritual DNA. Once you decide to change your spiritual DNA, he’ll do it for you. He’ll switch your DNA for Jesus-DNA and you’ll become a new creature. It's just like our physical bodies, we are all made from the same human-DNA, but we are all different people. In the same way, when we accept Jesus-DNA, we are all made from the same Jesus-DNA, but we are all different people. We are all new, but different creatures.

Inside-out Jesus-DNA makes it harder to tell who is on the team and who isn’t, because each person ends up different. Some religious leaders don’t like that idea because they like deciding who is on the team and who isn’t.

They also like telling the team how it should look and act and talk. But if everyone is different it makes it harder to say how people should look and act and talk.

Also, if everyone is different it makes picking the team captains harder because all the outside symbols of inside goodness will be different for each person. This is maybe the thing the religious leaders don’t like the most. They really like being the team captains. Jesus is saying they won’t even be the water boys.

Jesus said there will be one way people will know if we are on the team—except he never really called it a team—but anyway, He said there will be one way people will know if we have Jesus-DNA. That one thing is love. Jesus-DNA starts from the inside but then goes to the outside and connects you to other people. It changes you from the inside and you want to start loving people outside of you more than you love the inside of yourself. You probably won't be very good at it, because you've been so used to loving yourself more. But you'll start to want to do things for other people rather than do things for yourself, and eventually you'll actually start doing those things for other people. So the change that happened inside of you is now outside of you affecting other people, and it connects you to other people. Jesus said that was the symbol of goodness inside. But the goodness isn’t your goodness, it’s Jesus-DNA goodness that’s growing a new creature and connecting you to other people.

tweeking the electrofuzzgroove

DaveyJ
Originally uploaded by Warrior Poet.

Last night subVERSIONbeta met for the first time in Mosaic's new space at 4th and Columbia.

subVERSIONbeta is a loose collection of creative tech nerds who want to pull technology apart and then make stuff as creative as children of Creator God should be making. We're scribblers.

Dave Johnson set up the better part of his recording studio and was making some insane ambient industrial urban sounds. Mark Anderson brought a projector, screens, MotionDive, pretty movies, and an Edirol V4. He has everything. He knows a lot. If you want to see what we're about or come out for geek head fun, have a look at our mail list

What's with the name?

I'm part of Mosaic. It's a little trembling aspen. It got it's DNA from Tenth. The DNA of Tenth, and now Mosaic, is: Jesus, God the Father, The Holy Spirit, God's Word, authenticity and humility. If Mosaic is a trembling aspen and not an acorn, then Tenth isn't an oak, it's another trembling aspen. That seems like a healthy thing. I'm pretty sure God wants us to see ourselves as trembling aspens. Oaks might tend to take things into their own hands.

The largest living organism on earth is a trembling aspen grove in Utah. This populous tremuloides grove covers hundreds of acres, it is possibly thousands of years old. The trembling aspen reproduces using rhizomes. A rhizome is "a horizontal plant stem with shoots above and roots below serving as a reproductive structure," it's a taproot, a sucker root, or a rootstalk—pick a word, they're all weird. The grass in your front lawn grows the same way. A lump of grass sends a root underground and then sideways and a few inches away another lump of grass pops up. A trembling aspen is sitting there all by itself and then, as if by magic, another trembling aspen pops up beside it. It isn't really magic, the first tree just needed more light, so it made another one of itself, starting underground. Every tree in a trembling aspen grove is a clone of every other tree. They are genetically identical. All the trembling aspens are connected by an enormous rhizomatous root system underground.

There is an aspen grove on either side of Highway 99 just north of Brohm lake on the way to Whistler. You can tell something is a bit weird about this stand of trees, but you might not know why at first. If you look, sort of all at once, you'll see that all of the trees have similar branching structures. They look kind of the same, in a weird way, but not really. They aren't one big tree, they're all different trees. They look similar, but different, and they all need each other. Each trembling aspen needs every other trembling aspen.

The rhizome is a two way system. The original tree isn't just supporting the offshoot and the offshoot isn't just supporting the original tree. They're both supporting each other. They both need the water and nutrients from the other. They both need the leaves of the other for photosynthesis. One of the trees was the first tree, it started the stand of trees, but it would be very difficult, if not impossible to find. It's quite happy to stand among all the other trees, being itself, quietly knowing it started this amazing stand of trembling aspens. The relationship between two trembling aspens is distinctly different from the relationship between an oak tree and an acorn.

Why Blog?

On March 12, 2005 Stan Grenz died. Stan's words changed me. Words can do that. I write to process, so I wrote a memorial to Stan, but I had nowhere to put it. The day before, someone told me they were surprised I didn't have a blog. I hadn't before thought of myself as bloggable. I felt somewhat hollow as I thought of no more words coming from Stan. Maybe some new words would help fill up the hollow feeling. Maybe a new blog would be an appropriate response to a loss of words. So, here it is, the blog, Trembling Aspen; and the memorial, a tribute to the power of the written word, hope for change. I'll leave it at that for now, we can talk about other stuff later. ////


I'm not a family member, I'm not a close friend, I don't attend Carey or Regent, I don't even attend First Baptist; yet, Stan has had a profound impact on my life.

I talked to Stan only once. I bought him a chai tea. I had called him, out of the blue. Though he didn't know me from Adam, he graciously agreed to meet. I remember thinking Stan was a keen and intense listener, I can't say what specifically made me think this, maybe it was everything about him. I also remember thinking his was a breathtaking intellect. I would babble something, and he would repeat back what I had said, but in a way that now made sense. He would then add something better. It had taken me weeks of thinking to come up with mere babbling, in the moments it took Stan to repeat it, he had clarified it and added to it. It was stunning. But, he was no cold intellect. Here he sat, with a complete stranger, fully engaged, sipping chai tea. Gracious was the word I often used to describe the encounter.

I knew Stan best through his books. In That regard, I could say, along with thousands of others, I've been mentored by Stan. His books were a double edged sword. The content spurred me to write, but how he wrote, the clarity, was a stern caution; "This is the standard you must attain to." I was reading page 538 of "Theology for the Community of God" when my wife called to tell me Stan had died. Suddenly the words were just useless black blobs on a white piece of paper. "God," I had prayed the whole day before, "we can't afford to lose this man." Now a husband, a father, a grandfather was gone. This isn't right. This isn't how the story goes.

I have a page in my note book; "Questions to ask Stan." That says it all doesn't it? I wanted to make sure my theology wasn't flying off into outer space, so of course I'd ask Stan. If you wanted to be gently tethered to solid ground, who else would you talk to? I didn't get a chance to ask him, and now that little scrawled page says it all again. A memorial to loss. This just isn't right.

I think I accidentally wrote something about Stan. I wasn't writing about him when I started, but it seemed to fit when I finished. I knew Stan the author best, somewhat mediated knowing, but maybe not. Those who knew him well, tell me if this wasn't Stan:

We are in a battle and I was born to fight. I was born to fight with words like swords and with words that bind and heal. I was born to fight with wit and wisdom, but most of all to fight with the mightiest affront mounted against the powers of darkness; a life of rich celebration, a life of deep commitment.

It seems like there should be more. But, that's the way this whole thing feels. We've taken a wrong turn somewhere. There should be more.

The blobs have started becoming words again. Right there on page 538:

"The future dimension is evident in Jesus' promise at the institution of The Lord's Supper: "I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom." (Matt. 26:29) Through this promise, our Lord invites us to see his sacrificial death within the grand sweep of the biblical drama. This narrative moves from the past to the future, climaxing in the end of history. The Lord's Supper, therefore, is a celebration of the story of Jesus in its finality and totality, from cross to crown."

It isn't suppose to be this way. We were created for glory. We weren't meant to feel this loss. It shouldn't seem right. In a broken world, a broken country, a broken city, Stan fought to bring people a taste of glory. He fought to bring people he loved reconciliation to a God he loved more. It would be precisely in this moment that Stan would point away from a broken world, and toward "the grand sweep of the biblical drama." Of all the words Stan put on paper, the one he really gave me, the one I really came to know through him, was "eschaton." I think I'll hold on to that word more dearly now.